Prologue - 021

Prologue - 021

Turns Since TBfGK: 29

"You're all business, mister," Stanley grinned. "Love that about you, seriously." He pointed at Ansom and made a clicking noise with his tongue. "But let's lighten up a little, okay?"

Ansom was again having difficulty understanding his Overlord.

He could not hate his Ruler. That would be against his own nature, to say nothing of the will of the Titans. But being alone with Stanley the Tool always seemed to put him in mind of those times when ending this man's life had been all he desired.

"I will try, Lord," he said, curtly nodding. He attempted to relax his posture, as he stood there beside the grand planning table. His broad shoulders lowered a notch, and his stiffly-folded arms now dangled stiffly at his side. He looked at Stanley, who was eyeing him with skepticism.

Oh, yes. A smile. He tightened his lips into a thin, upturned gash.

"Riiight," said Stanley warmly. "We'll work on it. But," he said, clapping his hands together, "let's go ahead and talk about taking Unaroyal. I'm really excited about that."

The war room was lit and carpeted, with a flat ceiling supported by huge columns. There were paintings of battle scenes on the walls. Ansom had been told that this war room was an improvement over Gobwin Knob's prior one. It seemed sparse to him, compared to Jetstone's, but it would do.

At the center of the room squatted an enormous planning table covered in maps and figurines. Stanley had a long croupier's rake for moving the pieces around, which he did without apparent purpose. Ansom still held out hope that Stanley was computing some complex strategy beyond his own immediate ability to grasp, or perhaps that the Titans were guiding his hand. But as he watched his Overlord move a siege tower stack onto a river, this appeared increasingly unlikely.

"The Unaroyal side would seem to have understood too late what they were facing," said Ansom. "Even as we converted their forces and increased our numbers, they deployed the wrong numbers of defenders to their cities. They should either have met us with overwhelming force in our initial forays, or ceded their cities and withdrawn their forces to defend the capital. Now, it is too late. More than half of their units are now ours. Taking the capital will be trivial."

"Right," said Stanley, "they're screwed. Everybody's screwed! Haha. You'll do that when? Two turns?"

"Yes Lord, as I said by hat yesterday." Unaroyal was more than two hundred hexes from Gobwin Knob. But thanks to this dwagon-relay system of Lord Hamster's devising, he would be able to reach the mustering point near Unabrow in a single turn.

He would not, however, sleep much. And he had pulled the same sort of long-hour day yesterday to be here. His Overlord was, perhaps, abusing this new ability to recall him from the front at will.

Still, Ansom could not deny the strategic advantages conferred by this new mobility. The replenished fleet of Dwagons now were regularly deployed and redeployed, so that a contingent of fresh mounts could take a rider to or from anywhere in the side. Because of the extravagance of dedicating so many flying mounts, such a thing had never before been tried. But Lord Hamster saw the possibilities.

Indeed, now that Hamster was dabbling in tactical studies again, his genius was apparent. And unsettling. So, too was his Mistress' faith in it; she now consulted "Parson" before every battle. He was reluctant to devise plans for her, but she took his every word of advice.


It was maddening, really. Until recently, Ansom had been regarded as one of the finest strategic planners in the world. And while he was still in charge of planning his side's conquests, and they were proceeding gloriously, his Mistress saw fit to vet his plans through...whatever Hamster was. Not Royal nor common, nor holy. Fish nor fowl. A deceiver in the service of the Titans, who might perhaps disbelieve in the Titans' existence. Maddening.

He cleared his throat. "I don't believe we should take it for granted that every side we face will make this mistake, Tool. I think we should resign ourselves to an inevitable massive counterstrike, likely led by Jetstone."

Stanley put his rake against the table. "Yeah?"

"Inevitable. King Slately will be spending all of Jetstone's energies in preparation. Seeking a broader coalition, building up toward numerical superiority."

Stanley looked at him appraisingly. "I guess you'd know," he said, avoiding the f-word...father. Ansom nodded. "So what do we want to do about that, Champ?" Lord Stanley, at least, still had unwavering faith in Ansom's strategic mind.

"I have a plan." Ansom took a few steps around the table, to a spot where none of Gobwin Knob's pieces or cities stood...where they had very little intelligence to put enemy pieces, either. "When Unaroyal falls, we suspend expansion. Consolidate the side at 14 cities, and then we prepare."

"Prepare?" said Stanley, taking his rake to where Ansom stood. His stepstool was not on that side of the table, so his nose barely poked over the edge as he looked at where Ansom was indicating.

"A strike. Before they are ready. A direct capital strike," said Ansom. And suddenly his fist came down and struck the table hard. "I will simply take Jetstone."


Recent posts... (See full thread)
based on definition i would assume garrison means "stay the boop here" and is an order. defying that order could de-plot parson. even if promoted back to movable unit. parson may still have 0 natural move as he has always fought his battles on the seat of his pants.

we KNOW mounted units don't use their own move. they use the mounts move. but what we don't know is that carried units have the same effect. we have the opinion that resized units (vinny's bats) can be carried. so maybe parson resized can be carried. but we have no idea if regular parson is portable against his will.

it is possible charlie thinks parson is plaid clan and piker sized and three archons could carry THAT parson. but i'm sure the archons would have at least relayed the data that parson is twoll sized by that point.

the funny thing is this update is the first we've seen of erfworlders questioning parson's origin. ansom wondering what kind of unit parson actually is. not royal, but not common, etc.

superficially he is built like a twoll. but he's pink. lacks fabrication specials, and he's gifted in natural strategy and mathamancy, essentially he's popped as a super intelligent twoll warlord. it would confuse the bejeebus out of erfworlders.
I'd like to post my own quantum of speculation. I'm posting it here because it occurred to me while reading this strip, but there's nothing in this strip that specifically spurred it. Regardless, here is my speculation: Charlie is a predictamancer, not a thinkamancer. Indeed Charlie is the predictamancer from Faq that gave Wanda her prediction. Why? Well, I submit to you that Charlie was mercenary competition for Jillian. Perhaps he came on the scene as a mercenary around the same time as Jillian. But shouldn't Charlie have been frozen then when Faq fell? Well here's the thing my friends: he was. Only his attunement to the arkendish allowed him to still affect the world at large. Spooky? Yes. Terrifying? Indeed. But a true story, my friends, every word of it. Or at least as true as idle speculation with only the thinnest story support can be.

Your humble predictamancer,
etc., etc.
He can't ride the Dwagon BECAUSE he's the size of a troll, it doesn't matter what his move is, when he gets on the Dwagon the world looks at the checkboxes. Can unit mount mounts? YES, Does unit meet size category for this mount? NO, and Parson can't fly on the Dwagon, no matter how forcibly he orders it...

Dwagons can't carry Heavy units...
Infidel wrote:
Yosarian wrote:

I think you're all thinking inside the box with all this ride the dragon or Meaglogwiff talk. How about a sleigh led by a team of Archons?

PONYGIRLS!!!Wanda would love to train them, you bet . . .
joosy wrote:
if he got some of the twolls to fabricate him a chariot and had several dwagons carry it?

For testing if he can leave GK somehow, he doesn't need a flying device, a simple wagon would suffice.
We have seen siegetowers filled with troops being moved...
Does anyone else think that Ansom could take Jetstone's capital with nothing more than all the dwagons of GK?

I mean, that's a LOT of dwagons.
atteSmythe wrote:
Infidel wrote:
Well, Charley thought 3 Archons were enough to move Parson out of hex, and Parson has access to three Archons...

Not sure how much we can read into that scenario, though, since if Parson had accepted, he would have been a captured unit. The rules may be different in that case.

When I first looked at that page I saw three archons carrying a net. No reason to believe the archons thought they could carry parsons. They may have been planning to hog tie him and interrogate him in the tower.
Lightbender wrote:
Does anyone else think that Ansom could take Jetstone's capital with nothing more than all the dwagons of GK?

I mean, that's a LOT of dwagons.

Yeah, I would say that 70 or so dwagons is "a lot".
Lightbender wrote:
Does anyone else think that Ansom could take Jetstone's capital with nothing more than all the dwagons of GK?

I mean, that's a LOT of dwagons.

However, they don't get Wanda's bonus. It breaks the whole bonuses on top of bonuses strategy.
However, they don't get Wanda's bonus. It breaks the whole bonuses on top of bonuses strategy.

Which is a good strategy for efficiency, but a zergling rush with dwagons without the bonus can be a good strategy too =p