Book 2 - Text Updates 026

Book 2 - Text Updates 026

Zhopa the twoll held a cleaver in one thick hand, and eyed Stanley the Tool. With the palm of the other hand pressing down, he minced a pile of radishes.

"Battle is over, Lud?" he said.

Since making a sudden, theatrical entrance and receiving Zhopa's bows and salutes, Stanley had been quietly inspecting the larder area. He walked around the room, opening cabinets, peeking in burlap sacks, prying the lids from canisters.

When in the presence of Commanders, Zhopa generally restricted his questions to clarifying their orders. But the Overlord's close inspection of the kitchen made him nervous enough to ask a potentially dangerous one, if only for the sake of turning Lord Stanley's mind to other things.

To his twollish mind, it seemed a safe thing to ask. Since the turn was over early and Stanley was here, of all places, it should have been safe to assume that Gobwin Knob had won yet another battle.

But the question immediately felt like a big mistake. Stanley turned to him and glared sharply. "Why?" he said snidely, "you wanna go fight in it?"

Zhopa stared at Stanley blankly. "In Jetstone, Lud? I think would be a long walk." He put the cleaver down on the butcher's block and stood at attention to be promoted from Garrison unit. "But okay."

"Yeah, you wish," said Stanley, stepping toward him. "Shut up and make me a sandwich or something." He looked around, hands on hips. "And I'm gonna stay here a while. I'll need a chair, too."

Zhopa made the chair first. He had no suitable furniture on hand but kept a lot of wood, rawhide, nails, glue, and other workable materials in the adjacent workshop. It took only a minute or two to gather what he needed, and a few more minutes to fabricate a simple wooden chair.

The only problem was height. He had to weigh the potential for embarassing Lord Stanley with a chair that left him low to the ground, against presenting him with a chair so high it could be taken as mockery. After a moment's nervous consideration, he decided to go with the high chair.

When Zhopa brought it into the room, Stanley only glanced at it and said, "took long enough." He used his hammer to levitate up into it without further comment, and seemed content that he could watch his sandwich being made. Zhopa felt relieved.

The henchman went about gathering ingredients. He would just as soon split an enemy skull as a loaf of rye. But if this was all he could do for the war, then he intended to make the Tool a grand and suitable sandwich.

After a minute or two of watching the twoll work, Stanley said, "No."

Zhopa dropped his carving knife and looked up. "No ham, Lud?"

"Yes, ham," said Stanley. "I love ham." The Tool shifted in his chair. "I mean no, the battle isn't over. But yeah, ham. Extra ham."

Zhopa nodded, and continued slicing.

Stanley leaned forward. "The battle's not over at all, in fact. We lost Ansom."

Zhopa had known that the Chief Warlord had been lost, and replaced. He'd felt his bonus change. At hearing this news, he said nothing. Not even a nod.

"Dunno what happened," said Stanley, frowning. "Queen of Faq captured him, I know that. But what's her whole deal? I dunno, but she ticks me off." He straightened, and dropped a fist on the block. "I wiped out Faq once, y'know! Can do it again if I have to. Did you know that?"

Zhopa shook his head, "No, Lud."

Stanley grinned. "Oh it was great. I used to keep that a secret, but I can tell ya now." He snatched a slice of bologna from a nearby plate where Zhopa was collecting them, and popped it in his mouth. "Okay, I gawt vis weird finkagram whem I was out inna field..."

Comic - Book 2  Text Updates 026

Recent posts... (See full thread)
DevilDan wrote:
Why should anyone like Charlie?

At best, they might respect his mercenary spirit. But why would you like someone who charges you an arm and a leg while you're in battle and who will be fighting on the other side next time if you can't scrape together enough shmuckers?

I will say this: Charlie's apparent obsession with amassing archons, quite possibly even past the point of diminishing returns (don't forget what just a couple dozen archons are capable of) does support the theory that he has a byzantine agenda of far wider scope and complexity. (I mean, plotmancy always pointed to that, but we've had relatively little actual evidence.)


TMK casters like him. Good boss, pays well.
It may be misleading exactly how many Archons Charlie has, it is in his interest to have potential employers think his resources are unlimited.
We know from Parson's interviews of decrypted archons that Charlie has around 600 archons, I believe. Anyway you slice it, that's a serious number of flying troops with various casting abilities.
This is a reaction to the news-update... wrong place?

Feel better, Xin!

And sorry to hear of the writer's block. It seems like that would be especially hard for webcomic authors because the standard strategies of "write junk and fix it later" or "skip ahead to where you want to go and work backwards" aren't really options.

There are a handful of authors (of books, movies, and video games) that I hold on a pedestal as infallible. The only common element between them is that they release(d) content only when it's ready... which always felt too slow at the time!

Normally I'm way more excited about picture-updates, but I'm pretty fired up to hear Stanley's version of Faq... I'm betting we'll learn a lot from it... even if it is just exactly what Wanda said...
Just wanted to log on to say to Rob and Xin: Thanks guys for this excellent webcomic. This really is my favorite webcomic, and the first one I have ever bought anything from. I, along with what I'm sure is most of your readership, really appreciates the depth, quality, and uniqueness of erfworld, though it probably doesn't feel like it most of the time. So, by all means, take the time you need to get better, and get over the writers block. For a story this good, I am willing to wait. Godspeed,

KW
Likewise.
I think I may have the answer to Parson getting into the Magic Kingdom.

Clarke's Third Law.

Parson is alien to Erfworld, he comes from a science-based world, his 'magic-object' is actually a scientific object.
Erfworld is a mathematically-based world (Hexes, turns, juice, force multipliers) that thinks it's a magic-based world.
Parson's mathematical skill, computational tools and scientific thinking are sufficiently advanced so as to be indistinguishable from magic on Erfworld.
gazes_also wrote:
I think I may have the answer to Parson getting into the Magic Kingdom.

Clarke's Third Law.

Parson is alien to Erfworld, he comes from a science-based world, his 'magic-object' is actually a scientific object.
Erfworld is a mathematically-based world (Hexes, turns, juice, force multipliers) that thinks it's a magic-based world.
Parson's mathematical skill, computational tools and scientific thinking are sufficiently advanced so as to be indistinguishable from magic on Erfworld.


I might just buy, for the sake of (a very tenuous) argument, scientific thinking, but his mathematical skill? And why his computational tools? By that argument, anyone wearing honest-to-goodness magic items would have half a chance.
DevilDan wrote:
gazes_also wrote:
I think I may have the answer to Parson getting into the Magic Kingdom.

Clarke's Third Law.

Parson is alien to Erfworld, he comes from a science-based world, his 'magic-object' is actually a scientific object.
Erfworld is a mathematically-based world (Hexes, turns, juice, force multipliers) that thinks it's a magic-based world.
Parson's mathematical skill, computational tools and scientific thinking are sufficiently advanced so as to be indistinguishable from magic on Erfworld.


I might just buy, for the sake of (a very tenuous) argument, scientific thinking, but his mathematical skill? And why his computational tools? By that argument, anyone wearing honest-to-goodness magic items would have half a chance.


I'd say the answer to that is fairly simple.

Parson's Mathamancy bracer didn't work until he'd plugged his calculator-watch into it.

Given the following, that:

A) a calculator is used for mathematical calculations (or, in Erfworld terms, Mathamancy), and
B) he brought the calculator-watch with him,

It is therefore logical to assume that:

C) because of this "Mathamancy item" which was in his possession, Erfworld itself considers him to be a Master-class Mathamancer, and the one who created the calculator-watch.
Guess whoever wrote the portal spells has a lot of debugging to do.
DevilDan wrote:
Guess whoever wrote the portal spells has a lot of debugging to do.


Naw, the answer is easy. 'A Wizard (caster) did it.' End of speculation.