Book 2 - Text Updates 044

Book 2 - Text Updates 044

Lord Stanley the Tool glanced at the half of his monstrous sandwich which remained on the plate.

It was a lot like the half a city he'd returned to, a hundred-ish turns ago. Admittedly, that was half a city more than he had expected would be standing there after the Coalition had marched upon his capital, but it still looked all lopsided and unappealing. He still hadn't gotten used to it.

He hadn't gotten used to very much at all since then, really.

What was wrong? He didn't know. He was still Overlord, right? He had more cities than ever! Yeah, this wasn't a real good day with losing Ansom and everything, but Hamster was gonna fix all that. He wasn't sure how, but that was Hamster's problem.

Wasn't it? Sure it was. Sure it was. Hamster could handle anything. He should just sit tight and stay out of this one.

He picked a slice of pepperoni from the monumental stack of meats and cheeses, and chewed on it absently. The twoll with the "Z" name had already cleaned off the island block, and was puttering around the larder. That was probably just to look busy, for Stanley's benefit. Stanley thought that was just how it should be.

But just what in the divine crack of the Titans' holy rear ends was Hamster doing?

Rulers have a natural Thinkamancy which allows them to relay orders to their field units, even without a Thinkamancer. He had a feel for what was going on with his forces, even sitting there in a chair in his capital's garrison's larder. But he didn't know what to make of it.

The morning's developments had included the recall of the Dirtamancer from the Magic Kingdom, then Hamster promoting himself to field unit. That raised Lord Hamster's upkeep by a hundred-forty a turn, but that was cheap compared to the eighteen grand he then spent to promote a bunch of Hobgobwins to heavy. Then right after that, he harvested a whole bunch of Stanley's dwagons!

That really ticked him off. It wasn't like he had been able to go out and tame any more in the last dozen turns. All those Archons that were scouting the area were part of Ansom's big plan to take Jetstone, so Stanley had been stuck in the city. He got out of his chair and was going to go yell at Hamster about that, but then they all got un-fooded all of a sudden and they were back to being dwagons.

Only...Decrypted dwagons.

That filled him with all kinds of weird feelings. Decrypted dwagons. So would they respond to the 'pliers or the 'hammer? Would they love him or Wanda? He used the Arkenhammer to levitate back into his chair, then kept holding onto it. He didn't like the idea of dwagons that felt the same way about Wanda as they did about him. No way.

Wanda... He sighed. What was her deal? It was like he couldn't talk to her any more. But what could they talk about? She was out conquering the world for him all the time. It wasn't like he could find fault with that. At least, not until this mess today.

Which Hamster would fix. Expensively, but Hamster was good.

Yeah.

Stanley would never tell him so, but he knew Hamster was good. You never tell your people that. Then they start slacking and you yell at them and they go, "Hey! Back off, man! You said I was good!" And then what can you tell them? Just "shut up" or something.

He wished Hamster had taken him up on those mentoring sessions they talked about. Stanley had been a warlord. He had all kinds of good advice. But Hamster would just stare at him whenever he would share a pearl of his worldly wisdom. Made it not worth it.

Yeah, Hamster would be all smart and "perfect warlord-y" and everything out there today. And Wanda would be all, "I'm spooky and powerful and hot and OBEY ME!"

And he would sit here with a stupid twoll and eat a sandwich. Yeah that's glorious. The Titans' favorite son, wielding their mighty hammer. He waved it around absently, accidentally sending a little shock bolt into a nearby sack of beets. Zork or whatever his name was grunted in surprise.

He really should teach himself to use the thing better. Wanda said she thought it was a whole mess of different magicks, what'd she say...Shockmancy, obviously. Rhyme-o-mancy because it rocked out. Carnymancy because it made big flashes and sometimes could make things disappear (he never could do it on purpose, though). And what else? Changemancy? He looked at the hammer closely. There might be a lot more he could do with it besides taming dwagons, which was...Date-a-mancy, he guessed?

He liked taming dwagons, but maybe it was time to figure out what else it could do. Because when those stupid dwagons came back, he wasn't sure they would even recognize it.

It was getting lonely in the big chair again.

Comic - Book 2  Text Updates 044

Recent posts... (See full thread)
Oberon wrote:
The 'hammer also may convert O'rlys into walnuts. This would seem to be a purely-for-humor effect, as any hit on a weak unit such as an O'rly is probably fatal in any event.


I took it to mean a clue that the Hammer has a special bonus-vs-birds effect (or even more broadly bonus-vs-flier), just as the pliers have a bonus-vs-uncroaked. Would be pretty cool if Stanley were to one-shot a Megalogwiff by turning it into a coconut or something.
Guppy wrote:
Oberon wrote:
The 'hammer also may convert O'rlys into walnuts. This would seem to be a purely-for-humor effect, as any hit on a weak unit such as an O'rly is probably fatal in any event.

I took it to mean a clue that the Hammer has a special bonus-vs-birds effect (or even more broadly bonus-vs-flier), just as the pliers have a bonus-vs-uncroaked. Would be pretty cool if Stanley were to one-shot a Megalogwiff by turning it into a coconut or something.
Now that would be amusing. Even more amusing: Turning a TV unit (flying warlords, remember) into, I don't know, bats of the non-doom variety?
joosy wrote:
drachefly wrote:
The limiting factor here is, again, having scout units. They don't even need to be warlords, just have the scouting special and either be able to escape a dwagon or be so cheap you don't care (like doombats).

and have leadership so it can choose to break off an attack and be able to see veiled units.


Scouts can break off attacks; they don't need leaders to do that. I don't know why sighting veiled is so important for dwagon hunting; it is important for general security, sure.
Sizemore seems so depressed.
drachefly wrote:


Scouts can break off attacks; they don't need leaders to do that. I don't know why sighting veiled is so important for dwagon hunting; it is important for general security, sure.


It's important for general security because of how critical the mission is. You're sending out the ruler of the side to tame the dwagons; it only takes one good ambush to end the side. Parson and Stanley need to be damn well sure there's absolutely no chance of an ambush; and that means being able to see veiled units. Because without that, all it takes is one hired foolamancer to make a flock of mounted gwiffons look like a feral dwagon and some clouds. Or one stack of 20 archons sitting veiled in the middle of the mountains near passes that Stanley ends up using on occasion.

Seeing veiled isn't necessarily as critical for general scouting, because you can't plan for *every* eventuality - but in the case where the overlord is being put on the line *every turn*, you probably have to.
drachefly wrote:
I don't know why sighting veiled is so important for dwagon hunting; it is important for general security, sure.


Because if anyone (like say, Charlie) discovered that Stanley was leaving the capital every turn to hunt dwagons, it would be very much in his interest to leave pockets of Archon's in the area under veil to croak him. As a rule, we dont see Rulers leaving the Capital - exceptions being Jillian (as always) and Don's daddy, who ensured he had an heir first.

Stanley doesn't have an heir, so he is a very juicy target. He shouldn't go anywhere unless it is extremely safe. Duty would compel most of his units to enforce that too.

EDIT: Or what ftl said.
drachefly wrote:
I don't know why sighting veiled is so important for dwagon hunting; it is important for general security, sure.


It is only required when Stanley actually moves. They could find the dwagons without needing a veil check. However, the path of hexes that Stanley travels through must be checked for ambush.

I wonder if a foolamancer - thinkamancer - foolamaner linkup could shield an ambush from the archons (esp if Charlie was the one providing the link).
I thought we'd already established that the limiting factor was finding the dwagons, not getting to them to bring them home. You would need an escort, sure; but cheap scouts can do the basic gruntwork of finding the dwagons.
Swodaems wrote:
One thing we learned this update, Stanley doesn't think long term. Not if he thinks an upkeep increase of 140 a turn in a game that has already lasted 1000s of turns is more desirable than spending 18 grand.
Of course, this might be getting the city on the cheap. An estimate of what it would cost TV to take the capital city of Carpool ran 250k.


I'm sure that the upkeep cost of all those heavy hobgoblins collectively is more than 140. All they need to be is +10 upkeep each and upgraded units are usually even more costly than that.
Jafar, fairy Godmother, Aeris Gainsborough.

I love all these background characters.

I wonder what kingdom has Dr. Strange and the scarlet witch from the last comic...